Dear Kreayshawn,
Look, you're very cute. You look kind of like a High School Musical castmember after a lost weekend. Let's face it, when faced with the choice to run into you or Li'l Wayne in a dark alley, most "mainstream Americans" would probably pick you over Weezy.
To… Read the rest
Dear Megan Fox,
The biggest reason why I'm kind of relieved that my acting career never made it past a high-school production of "The Wiz"? I don't have to work with showbiz people. I mean, if I had to work, as you did, with Michael Bay, your director (and… Read the rest
Dear LeBron,
By now it’s pretty much a cliche to hate you. Which is a shame, since you were such a popular, charismatic figure early on in your career. You’re a great player, and you made so many smart career moves, and had the kind of big, spotlight-friendly personality… Read the rest
Dear Kate Middleton,
Congratulations on pulling off your big day under the watchful eyes of pretty much the entire world. A wedding means a lot of work and stress even when there aren’t any news outlets present, but you made it look as easy as just having a couple of… Read the rest
Dear Maria Shriver,
Wow, you’ve been through the wringer lately! For years now, it’s been an open secret that your husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has had some… let’s say… moments of weakness. But to be in the middle of a sandal like the one that just unfolded, confronted with evidence that… Read the rest
